Once Upon A lifeTime

To A Daughter of the King

2009-10-19T20:35:00.001+10:00

To A Daughter of the King
In the coming years, the journey that life will take you on and the path that you choose to walk will not be easy. Along the way you will face similar challenges that many others will face. But the thing that makes us all different is the way that we choose to deal with or respond to these problems. So little girl, don’t make the same mistakes that I have made. Instead listen carefully to my advice of what I would do now if I could have my time over.
Age 11 you must be now... only young despite the way you feel. Although you feel you've lived a few lifetimes in this short while, it's just a minute dot on the line of eternity. The decisions, realisations, successes and failures you have made, help shape your full lifetime. But individual occasions do not have to monopolise or define an entire existence. Sorry to have to warn you, but you will get left behind countless times. However it is for that reason that you pick yourself up and try again. You are worth the second chance and so too are the other people that are part of God’s plan for your life who need the encouragement of your resilience. This last fall you will have... it doesn't have to be THE last fall. If you choose to look up from the depths of your brokenness, then will you find the chance to hope for more.
When you chose what you knew was wrong, it was a mistake. But you did not choose in that moment to shackle yourself down to a life of torment, shame, pain and guilt... in the moment you sought forgiveness it was given. In that instance God completely wiped clean all that existed as a stain, or a mark, or a blemish. He forgot it all. He took out His eraser and removed the evidence. And continues to love you and adore you as His beloved daughter. It is never his intention for you to continue to punish yourself. This is just one mistake in your life, among many in the past and to come. Yes - times will come and you will remember. But it is not necessary to remember every moment of every day - as if to serve penance for a sin. Jesus has already taken care of it all. Embrace the grace that has been set before you. It is the only way to freedom... He is your only hope... LIVE FREE!!!

There is never a day that He will deny his love from you... There is never a day that He will refrain from showing you the grace and mercy you do not deserve. Believing it from the beginning is setting the path straight in line with His purpose for your life... believing it is living in the freedom that He desires for you. Set yourself free!! This hurting part of your heart can be reset, remodelled, cleansed and renewed. It is what He desires for you. Your power is in your surrender. To let go of the hurting part... stop picking the scab... and allow Him to heal it; You, daughter of the King, are to become a picture of hope... You are to become a signpost that reads freedom reigns here!!

<3

2009-10-19T20:32:00.001+10:00

its Your love that has saved me
its Your blood that has claimed me

<3

john 3:16

<3

nothing more. nothing less

<3

there is nothing that can give me more than Jesus' blood already has

<3

i never knew He was all i needed until He was all i had

<3

xx

2009-04-16T02:01:00.000+10:00

when the pain/overcame/and i was left standing there alone/because i'd pushed everyone else away/it was then i realised that i had a choice/leave with you/or stay/

what a day/when i broke free from all those chains/left the darkness where it belongs/and walked forward into the light of life/

and still breaking free/decisions to make/to not let the devil play/to not the darkness rule/to not let the strength i've gained go to waste/

He is the only way that i take the next breath in this life... He is the only reason that i'm breathing in the first place.. He is the only reason why the sun shines and i notice it... He is the only reason why i know that there is hope.. He is the only reason for the life i live... He is my only reason.

im not letting go - cant deny the freedom i've gained - cannot rewind - the past is left for behind - today i will deny - the devil has no place in this heart of mine - no foothold in this altar i have built for my God --- I am FREE!

i am

2009-03-03T18:03:00.000+10:00

i am the undecided

trapped in worlds of turmoil and the unforgotten

lost in translation - defining love and hate

i cannot crawl or find escape

my face is numb and dry and bare

no emotions that i share

are real. are true. are mine

i cannot grasp my own reality

my pain is a fingertip away

and im still bowing down to it

wishing, hoping for the day

that it sets me free

i am the remorsed

for what is to be unremorseful

i do not know how to disconnect

too intune with the mistakes i confuse

his face plastered against my eye lids

his scars running along my arms

his blood bleeding from the slices and cuts

his voice echoing in my earsa

nd so i run externally

from what afflicts me so internally

i am the powerless

fighting a battle already won

yet im convinced of my defeat

my mind is set on the opposites of His true and perfect will

parts of my grasp onto the bondages that seem so familiar

i am lost in the depths of a grace i cannot comprehend

and a grief i cannot console

i cry out

i am the spoken

i am the heard

i was the broken...

will life emerge?

the way i see it now

2009-03-03T17:59:00.000+10:00

life is beautiful

it sucks sometimes

but honestly its really beautiful

someday i will fly with you

2009-01-15T16:33:00.000+10:00

Its funny... For a long time that was my quote on my myspace profile. Its a lyric from the song - Fly With You by Pete Murray. At the time i was going through a tough time with life - struggling to find purpose and meaning in my existance, indulging in addictive self destructive behaviours and isolating myself from the world and mainly from God. But i would read or hear that lyric i would feel a quiver of hope deep in my soul...

Through Mercy - God really revealed to me that He was going to allow me... He was going to prepare me... He was going to teach me how to fly. I guess its been a little bit like a child learning how to walk. At first it was so hard. I felt like a fool ... I felt completely incapable and i didn't trust that God's word was truth. But slowly ... i grew... i learned.. i began to believe... and i realised that the only way that i could fly was with strings of grace that had fallen from heaven to hold me up. We ourselves, alone, cannot... we cannot defy gravity or face the unfaceable.. but because of the grace of God .. because He loves us we are able to. How much of a miracle is it that a girl like me now can fly! the thing is now - is whether i use that skill... whether i do it in God's strength, or whether i believe that i can do it alone. Its easy to get 'cocky' and 'self righteous'... But when i'm focussing on myself i take my eyes of Christ... and i fall.. i keep getting reminded of that...

But then - i turn back... i hear that gentle voice in my spirit reminding me that the only way i can fly is with Him... holding me, guarding me, lifting me higher...

With Me - 2005

2008-10-27T13:37:00.001+10:00

I was alive but I just couldn’t see
Because that life had been sucked out
I was living on nothing – nothing but me
And the pleasure that life could give
Through denying the knocks and bumps
But it was all a lie
And I knew You couldn’t see

I knew you couldn’t see that I was dying
And I admired myself – I idolised myself
Because I could hide and you didn’t have to see me
And know me and be afraid
Because I threaten the life of myself
That you don’t understand because
You’ve never been there

But I liked my hiding place
My posy in the corner where life was perfect
Then something pulled me out of the shadows
Do we ever know what for?
Because the pain just grew…
And I didn’t know how – was I to get through?
Who was this?

I couldn’t understand why I was being called to light
I was comfortable, I was a dream, I was living in a perfect world
I didn’t have to try and get through
I just got there… but it was a lie, wasn’t it?
You did it for a purpose…
How long would it take for me to see?
For You alone were carrying me…

My safety net grew thin; I was running an endless race
It still is and I don’t know where the end is
But You are here… I gave it all to You…
Please take from me my life
When I don’t have the strength to give it to You
I’ll take the chances because they’re worth taking
I’ll live the dream I know I’ll make it…

And when the going is weary
And the path grows rough – and there are crossroads
And forks that distract me and I get confused and I don’t know where to go
I pray that You will guide my life
It’s in Your hands – it’s Yours…
Make it a blessing – make it true
It’s my only gift – please make it new

Salvation

2008-10-27T13:34:00.000+10:00

Fractured... fragmented

Scattered amongst the rubble

They pass by

And skirt around the edges

Don't want their hands dirty

For their high society life.

Breathing through air holes

Each time inhaling more dust

To destroy

And I waste slowly away inside

Swept up and cast away

Lying with rubbish realising

Life does not go beyond these confines

Silently staring into the chaos

Of the ruined lives

Shunted together

We lie in wait of a saviour

Cautiously seeking redemption

Will every promise be broken?

Hesitantly reveal

What you see as so disgusting

And take a step towards freedom

Will I always be falling?

Or can you help me find salvation?

For Lucy - 2007

2008-10-27T13:33:00.000+10:00

I heard you sobbing
Crying your heart out
In the quiet of your room
I heard the scream of surrender
Forced upon you
Do you really want to relinquish this fight?

Why is the world just so harsh?
Why are there so many expectations?
Why do they damage us when we’re so young?
I know it’s so hard to find hope
And to see the light they all talk about
I just wish I could take some of the pain away.

You walk on by
I know you just want to block it all out
Shut down the voices inside your head
But its everywhere you look, everywhere you go
It’s so tempting to just give in
Are you really convinced you’ll never win?

There’s a long way to go
It’s not an easy fight
And they beat you and scorn you all the way
I’m on that road too
So I’ll reach out my handAnd we can stumble along it together

2006 - Faith Still Under Construction

2008-10-27T13:31:00.000+10:00

Pulled two ways
Can’t decide
Do I follow my own?
Is it really that hard?
Promises
Will they ever fulfil?
Or are they just pipe dreams
I aimlessly follow?

I need a solid foundation
I’m crumbling
Built on this weak sand
As the tide comes in and out
As my heart goes from high to low
As I’m waiting for someone to save me
As I’m waiting to let myself let them
Do you really want to be with me?
Do you really want to be with me?

Reveal yourself
Speak to me in a new, refreshed way
Shout at me, shout to me
I need to see your face, to hear your voice
Just to know you are real
And I’m truly alive
Because I feel so lifeless
Stuck inside this pit of misery
Lifeless because I’m missing out on something

Make me hear you
Make me let you in
I need you; my whole being knows I do
I just don’t know how
To so completely trust
To forgive
To let go
To give up control – how will you use?

Do you see all my anger?
All my fear, all my resentment
All my guilt, all my misery
All my sadness, all my restraints?
Do you see every bit of my baggage?
Will you truly take that from me?
Are you doing that already?
I can’t understand you…
I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to

Did you really die on that cross?
Did you really give your son’s life?
Just for me – for my cause?
To show me that I am loved
Why can’t I accept something like that?
Why do I feel I’ve given my life?
For another’s sins

And every hair on my head
There are so many of them
Do you really know them as well as you know me?
Do you know every word I say – that I never say?
Do you really get sad, jealous, angry?
Do you really know all my pain?
Does it really sadden you when I destroy myself?

I’m misunderstanding you
I never really got you in the first place
Though I like to say I did
Do you really love me as much as you say you do?
Is it possible someone could love me that much?
After all that has happened
Despite the fact that I am so impure
Despite the fact that I’ve been poisoned
Despite the fact that…
I give up.

2006 - Ponderings of Unrequited Love

2008-10-27T13:30:00.000+10:00

Drop my jaw and hope to God it’s not true
Why am I still running after you?
Is it because I still feel your presence?
Do you still dwell within me…?
Or has my heart filled with songs you can’t sing?

I don’t understand… my favourite line
It’s so overrated… do you understand?
The point I’m trying to make
Or are there still people left to save?
Newsflash – I’m one of them!

And yes I’m just a whiney child
Screaming selfishly for attention
Or maybe I just hope and cry
And dream of a better day
When? I ask when...

Whenever you touch my pain
Does it sting or bite?
Is that why it seems you never return?
Threatened by something ‘under your control’
I’ve lost it now… no coming back

See I’m remembering I told you I would
Don’t dream it’s over
They’ve come, I’ve come
To build a wall between us
You’re the strength – please knock it down

Am I begging too much?
And praying too little?
Are the words that I speak?
Coloured illegal? BLACK
That’s my colour

Do I sign here to die?
A signature death
A stone of my life
Telling lies and deceptions
Or will you roll it away?

If I choose to die
To stop smiling, stop denying
Become blatantly real
Would you cry?
Or would you not even sigh?

I’m not going to experiment
At least not today
I need a few answers
Coming my way

I’m impatient I know
And I know little more
From the wall to the window
I’m still on the floor

Please don’t say your goodbyes
I don’t want to be anymore
Do I deserve all your love?
And is that so much more
Than I read into? – I’m sorry

Air (not a poem!)

2008-10-27T13:26:00.001+10:00

Tell me how I’m supposed to breathe without air. Tell me who’s there when nobody really is. Tell me what the truth is. (cos I’m sick of being lied to)... And you’re lying if you’re telling me that all I’ve been told is the truth. Tell me how I’m supposed to wipe away these tears and pretend that every day is just another day. It’s not. Really. Yes it’s another day that I’m alive. That’s big for me. It’s another day that I’m carrying this legacy of a man who seemingly will be free. I’m afraid that I will still be caught in his bondage for the rest of his days... God forbid the rest of mine. God knows. I don’t know how and I don’t know why He would care to know but He knows. But I’m still crying. He still lets that happen. He still allows my heart to ache. Maybe because I haven’t got it all perfected. This walk of faith ain’t so easy once you really start. I’m just searching. I have it all really. I have a job, I have somewhere to live, and I have a new life that I could never have imagined. And I’m still one step away. It’s hard to keep identifying battles when you’ve grown so tired from having to conquer the one before. I really am in a war. I don’t want to lose my soul. Maybe in the past I would walk late at night hoping someone take it all because I couldn’t stand holding onto the broken little piece I had left. It was messy. But right now any mess is enough. If it was to stand for something that I could hope for I am holding on. I don’t want to keep losing out on what is for me. If God is for me, who could be against me. (Struggling to really understand that scripture). Yet somehow it makes sense. It really does. But tell how can I breathe without air?
There was this song I used to wake up to every morning. That was when I lived down in the Grotto... I can’t call it that name – meant be indicative of an apparently ‘peaceful haven’. It’s hell to me. It’s a piece of hell. The song went like this... “This is the air I breathe” ok yes I know that’s only the first line. It’s funny I never breathed that air. I don’t think I realised that I had a choice of what air I wanted to breathe. It’s like whether you walk straight in the path of a smoker knowing you will inhale the toxicity that they are exhaling or whether you walk a few metres away where the air is clearer and possibly healthier. When you’re young it’s all the same. It’s not about the journey, it’s about the destination. You go the quickest or most exciting, pain free way. It’s like that when we’re spiritually, emotionally young and immature. We just want to go the easiest way... Avoid the pain, run away from the hardship, walk the path of least resistance. For me that meant forfeiting my body, my credibility and my self respect. Somehow, in the midst of it all I had a subconscious knowing that there was an air, an atmosphere that I could surround myself with that brought life so much more abundantly. So every morning before I got out of bed I listened to these words... “This is the air I breathe/ Your holy presence living in me”... I think the chorus spoke out what was the only reality that I could live within (without an adjective to fit)... “And I’m desperate for You, and I’m lost without You.” I knew it. I just didn’t know how to make it work. I didn’t know how to turn desperation into a soulful search. Maybe that would last for half an hour at a time. But my patience was not developed. I could not waste my time in what felt painful. It was more comfortable dwelling in what was hurting me so much more yet so subliminally.
Funny what I’m listening to write now. Switchfoot repeated constantly the line “souls aren’t meant to store sticks and bones”. I think they’re the lines. Funny how God just decides that you won’t skip the song that you aren’t too interested in listening to. In fact I have never actually listened to that song before. For some reason it’s on my computer. For some reason it got played right now when I’m just considering all of that. Damn I hate my philosophical-ity sometimes. (I really don’t mind my idiosyncrasies though... or that I am sitting in the dark eating honey roasted nuts from an orange paper bag)
Anyway... I’ve just got to wandering – what does a soul storing sticks and bones look like? I kind of look at that and think wow! At least they’ve got a soul... at least they’ve got more than just a piece (try and picture what I see my soul as in my minds’ eye – a tiny chunk of heart, like real human heart that accidently fell onto the floor whilst being taken out of the operating room but it just happen to be dirty and all that). I’ve always wanted WHOLENESS. But really - is there much difference between WHOLENESS and HOLENESS... (not discrediting TRUE wholeness but I hope you can see what I’m trying to say here) The only difference I see is a W. Maybe God had to take some of my soul away – the part that was diseased and dying and broken in order for the rest of the soul to survive and regrow into what He had purposed. If He didn’t intend it to be storing ‘sticks and bones’ – interpret that as you may – then maybe I am able to glorifying Him with the little dirty looking piece that I have.. Honestly - looking at it, I’ve swept out a lot of the debris... The dirt on the outside is not a true perception. And what I can see is a pure, vulnerable, soft and precious soul regrowing and gaining strength. (While writing this I am getting a very clear picture in my memory of the sheep’s heart that I accidently dropped onto the dirty floor in kindergarten)... But actually taking that picture into consideration – I was never punished for that. We just picked it up and brushed it off and continued to marvel at it. It was still spectacular and bizarre and special. We still appreciated it. It wasn’t a bad thing that I dropped it. It was just an accident. Sometimes that happens in life. I’m not saying that what happened to me was an accident – it definitely was not – it was a malicious attack that was not my fault... and what I continued to do was intentional. But somehow that picture just works for me right now. It’s bringing peace. It’s letting those tears shed before be ok.
I’ll tell you how I breathe without air... I seek out the air that is the only air my desperate soul can breathe and not choke on. It is the only air that satisfies my hungry soul. The presence of God is my air.

another...mercy...poem

2008-10-25T15:13:00.000+10:00

Breathe into these hollow ribs
I see no rise and fall
No beat of life remains
Reality floats away
And so i stumble...
Deeper...
Deeper...

Cannot see the light
Cannot find the sun
Blotted out behind my many masquerades
In my protective desire
I erased true life...
Fading...
Fading...

Look into the eyes
Of the one i loved so dearly
And i see nothing more
Than cold hollow stares
Glares of sadistic humiliation...
Clearer...
Clearer...

Lost sight of hope
My sinking boat floating
Into the blackened horizon
My real is fake
My sword is blunt...
Nothing more.

--((--))--

2008-10-25T15:12:00.000+10:00

I refuse to let my eyes see
I lay in denial waiting
For this great shadow
To disappear
It lingers holding out
For a moment of vulnerability
Where i collapse...
--(slipping)
I didn’t let my foot leave the floor
Shy away from taking that leap
No chance i’d ever admit defeat
I’ll hide in my hole of regret and shame
This game...
I wish it would stop
So i could start again
--(game over)
Overcome... downridden
I shatter on the ground
Sound of broken glass
Shards of sharps and blunts
And i have become
The disgrace
None may speak about
--(silence)
Shadow
Slipping over
The rain clouds appear
I hide in the shades of rain
Cannot see my tears
Gasping and sighing
There is rain again today
--(fall away)
I will not look
I will not speak
Cannot let the demons win
Not again
Night falls
Left eye glimpsed the star
One star... my saving grace?
--(maybe today?)

Sunrisei uncover my sweaty face
Shadow hanging
Over my curtain now
Can i see hope today
Or shall i hide
Under the doona
--(let me be)

One step
From the bed
Into the cold aire
I smile
Fake today
Here tomorrow
Glow
--(hope)

Luke 8:40 - my paraphrase

2008-10-25T15:11:00.000+10:00

I saw Jesus in the distance. I couldn’t quite see His face but I knew it was Him – He seemed to always be the one gathering the huge crowds of people. I heard the guys that he hangs out with bickering loudly about something – it seems that they are his overprotective body guards. I felt the groaning in my body. I was desperate – desperate from the most inner part of my heart. All I could see though was the throngs of people – they were all bunched in together and as I glanced from a distance it seemed impossible to find a way through. Just looking at the crowd and considering how close to these people I would be, I snatched quick breaths from the steamy air. Why did it have to be today? Why did it have to be at all? Yet I knew that today was my only chance. I counted how many steps I thought it would take but my eyes kept blinking back the shade of tears blurring my vision. I was so overwhelmed. Today I would face every giant, every pompous Pharisee and man of the law, every man who had scorned me and shouted with disgust, “Unclean! Unclean!” I didn’t need their reminders – I already felt like I had disgraced earth with my unwanted presence. Here I was, the least of society – a female, an unclean defiled and outcast woman daring to enter the presence of fellow man and not only that – the most highly respected. What was I thinking? Nevertheless I approached the crowd – sweat pouring off my brow. There were so many people; it was so hot, I was so afraid. I fought off the urge to turn and run and I started to press through. Everyone was so focussed on Jesus that they paid no heed to my identity. I was just another person make their way more arduous. It was not every long before I was shoved to the stony, hard, dusty ground. A thousand feet had walking along here in their sturdy sandals yet I would dare to enter the Messiah’s presence crawling on the ground. Tears swept my face. Was it really worth it? But I had reached a point of what some would call manic desperation and I pressed on trying to block out the inner taunts and the heavy feet trampling my back. I ignored the agony I was in – there was only one thing I had room to consider – my healing. It seemed like an eternity of paused motion and anticipation before I saw in the near distance the hem of a cloak I had dreamed of so many times. I looked twice – could it possibly be Him? Were they really the feet of this Great Healer? But as I looked there was no mistaking. The groaning in my body almost roared with the desperation – of 12 years that pain and anguish had complied. This was my time – or would I freeze up. Would I be stuck in my own fear? I didn’t care – I needed healing. I needed him. I glanced up, only just catching a glimpse of His weathered face. I just knew those creases and lines decorating His face told of many miracles I could only dream of. Would I be blessed enough to receive such Mercy? I measure with my eye and estimated an arm length – was that all that there was between us? I longed for the courage ... I reached deep inside and stretched out my arm to touch the hem I had strained my eyes to see for what seemed like forever. Immediately the groaning stopped. I retreated from sight back into the protection of the crowd and uttered silent prayers of thankful praise to this Mighty Healer who had just changed my life. As I slid back into the rhythm of the throbbing crowd I heard a voice, deep and echoing – “Who touched me?” I saw His eyes glancing around as I looked up to pinpoint the voice. He had felt my touch? How! It was only the slightest touch... The voice leapt out again – “I felt healing power flow from my body.” I heard His friend’s reason with Him but there was no swaying Him. He knew what He felt. I shuddered with fear. My already trembling heart beated so strongly against my chest. I was afraid that I had been cursed with another illness. But I felt a yearning in my soul to stand and make myself known. Had I not done what was needed already? but the yearning would not still. I bent on my knees and pressed above the crowd. I know He saw me, He locked eyes with me straight away but I could not maintain the gaze. I stood ashamed. The gasps of recognition swayed my spirit. They only knew me as the unclean outcast. I did not belong. Jesus spoke up and silenced the growing taunts. “Why daughter?” he asked. And I knew there was no hiding now. I explained my situation looking at the hard ground responsible for my ashen face. He walked over and embraced my once unclean and dejected body, placing His finger on each scar my face now wore brokenly and He whispered in my ear, “Take heart my daughter – your faith has healed you. Go in peace and know my love.”

Once Upon A Time

2008-10-25T15:10:00.000+10:00

Once upon a time
In a land far from here
We lived.

Audacious – I sang
In gratitude to a heart
I never knew...

And then I ran
Further and further
Away

Once upon a time
Not so far from now
I close my mouth

And never let it open again
Pursued by the flesh
Never really left my side

Sinking in its depths
Magnified the lies
Not more than futile trembling

Escape

Once upon a time
Results of the past
Can’t run fast enough
It’s gone

Broken T Heal

2008-10-25T15:09:00.002+10:00

Hands tied
Because I trespassed
The land of shame
Of no escape

Running. Stumbling
Falling at the sight of pain
Did not even need to feel
But at that thought I did keel

Surrender to the lonely beast
Give myself for sweet release
I am sinking in his pit
Why have I let him win?

Sigh out darkness
Breathe in hope
Not long now
And I’m off this boat

I’ve had enough
Of going alone
If you can see me
Show me home

I am broken
And You’re the Healer
You’re the Potter
And I’m the clay

It’s time to shatter
Time to mend
Time to restore
This ruined vessel

Purpose

2008-10-25T15:09:00.001+10:00

Unfolding. Unleashing
Determined to win.
A distant dark cloud
Shadows me
Alone and afraid
Searching. Somewhat
Dejected.
Will my scars ruin
All Your plans?
My purpose forgotten
I wander alone
Outreaching for some
Kind of hand.
Is this my life’s purpose?
Will peace ever pass me?
I’m losing all faith
In this world!
Will you ever use me?
Will healing begin?
Will we rediscover
Purpose together?

Love

2008-10-25T15:07:00.000+10:00

Love...
That a man would lay down His life?
That a Father would give His son?
That a generation would consume bewildered?
That cannot be comprehended?
That such a sacrifice would be made?
That my everyday would be ordained?I cannot contain...

Stolen Innocence

2008-10-25T15:06:00.000+10:00

Wasn’t it the innocence in your first born?
That reminded you of who you used to be
The gleam in her eye, the smile on her face
Behind the tears, she loved you – because she knew how
Where did it all disappear to?

Her heart was screaming out to you
Why couldn’t you hear?
She just wanted you to know that whatever, wherever
Something still remained
But you were blind

Something in my heart tells me that this was all wrong
Why did you give it all up?
Why did you leave her on her own?
She wanted, she needed, she was innocent
In your loss, you stole hers as well

Can you hear her crying, screaming in her sleep?
Nightmares of a selfless, helpless love
Nightmares of you – you didn’t know, did you?
Comfort for a child too young to experience this
She would never find

Maybe tomorrow she’ll wake up, you think
You wake up – maybe that will do her good
For these porcelain doll eyes will never see the light again
They’re forever closedDo you ever think why? Do you ever think why

The Pursuit Of A Life

2008-10-25T15:03:00.000+10:00

The Pursuit Of A Life

The pursuit of a life
The whole package
Already assembled…
I was given a box instead
With bits and pieces
The pursuit of a life
Where it’s all there
Where happiness just rolls up
And pain just disappears
Where you don’t have to work
To be something that you’re not

The pursuit of a life
Where you don’t need anyone
And they don’t need you
Where you don’t get tied up in a knot
Where life never confuses
And allegiance is simple

The pursuit of a life
That in mind’s eye is beautiful
In reality it’s selfish
And I know for sure
Deep inside
It’s too far out of reach